Somewhere to Run
by adiwriting
Summary: Kurt just wanted to apologize, if he ever actually got the chance. Part of my Escape Verse


Blaine hadn't been gone more than ten minutes before Kurt realized what he had done. He'd broken up with the boy he loved and for what? Trying to make him feel better? Well now he hadn't gotten into his dream school and he had no boyfriend. This day had taken a turn for the worse fast.

Kurt reached out for his phone and realized his hands were shaky. He was still really upset over not getting into NYADA. He wanted to call Blaine and fix things, but he realized he needed time to cool down. Calling him now would only start another fight. Damn his temper, why did he have to be so mean whenever he got upset? Why on Earth did he have to be so defensive? It was only Blaine. Blaine, who had seen him through much worse. It wasn't like Blaine thought any less of him for not getting into NYADA.

Oh God, what was he going to do? Sure, he could go to those other schools like Blaine had suggested. But what was the point? If he wasn't good enough for NYADA, he'd never be good enough for Broadway. And really, if that was the case, was it fair to make his dad spend thousands on a Musical Theatre degree?

That was that. No more New York. He couldn't do that to his dad. He'd just have to forgo college all together and just settle for working at the shop. What else was he good at if not music?

It had taken the rest of the night for Kurt to pull himself back together. Or, rather, it had taken a firm talking to from his dad about how there was no way in hell he wasn't going to New York. No way in hell he was letting his kid give him on his dreams. But by Friday morning, Kurt was prepped with a fresh batch of "I'm sorry" brownies and a new plan: NYU. There he could major in musical theory, fashion design, business, hell he could major in anything. And it would be close enough to Blaine when he inevitably got into NYADA next year.

Rachel wasn't fairing quite as well with the rejection. She had shown up to school in her pajamas, hair a mess, and kept going on about how her only option was to move to another country and hope that the foreign market hadn't yet heard of her failure.

In fact, it was Rachel's fault that he didn't make it to Blaine's locker that morning. Not that it would matter, a text from Tina told him that Blaine hadn't shown up for class. He wasn't in school. It wasn't until lunch that Kurt had caught a glimpse of him, all the way down the hall, covered in red colored ice. He still had his winter coat on, which told Kurt he had only just arrived at school.

He'd tried to make his way over to him, but Mike had stopped him.

"Perhaps now isn't a great time," he said, pushing him in the opposite direction. "Come on, we've got to get to class for that test. Tina will take care of him."

"I can't just leave him there," Kurt said. Was Mike crazy? Blaine needed him.

Mike gave him a guilty look, but kept pulling on him to come to class.

"What aren't you telling me?" Kurt asked, glaring at the boy. He didn't consider Mike a friend, even though they had been in Glee club together for three years. But Blaine and Mike were close. Ever since West Side Story they had been hanging out regularly. If Blaine hadn't texted Kurt at all last night, he could almost guarantee that he'd at least texted Mike.

"He's had a rough morning," Mike said. "He's not really up for seeing you right now."

Well that's great, Kurt thought. How mature. Blaine had sent his friends to keep him away. The more that he thought about it, the angrier he became. Sure, they had fought last night. Bad too, Kurt hadn't made "I'm sorry" brownies for nothing. But to completely avoid him? That was ridiculous. It wasn't like Kurt had meant those things. It wasn't like Blaine could honestly have believed he'd meant those things.

Kurt's anger grew and grew. By the time he reached Glee club, he was fuming. He refused to meet Blaine's eyes when he entered the room and made it a point to sit on the exact opposite side of the room. Even if that did put him next to Puck, who's hair had gotten so disgusting recently that he couldn't even be around it without wanting to call animal control to rescue that poor dead thing from his head.

In fact, when he saw Blaine walk towards him after Mr. Shue released them for the weekend, Kurt bolted. He quickly made his way to his car and didn't look back. Blaine wanted to act immature? Great. Two could play at that game. Kurt had been prepared to apologize, but not now. Not after today. He was curious just what exactly Blaine had told Mike. What horrible things had he been telling them about what he'd done? This was so like Blaine, just avoid confrontation and hope it goes away.

Well it wasn't going to. Blaine could come and talk to him like an adult or he could never talk to him again. Kurt wasn't about to fall into the stupid relationship drama that all of his friends found themselves in.

Of course, by not talking to Blaine, he himself was being dramatic. But he chose to ignore this. His anger was too justified to just let it go.

So that's how his weekend went. He'd spent some time at the shop, raising money for a pair of vintage boots he wanted to order online. He'd helped Carol organize the basement. He'd even helped Finn with his English essay (which had taken far more drafts than it should for a high school senior). But he had not once heard from Blaine. He'd even, curiously, gotten on Facebook, to see if he had posted a status update or written on anyone's wall. But even that had remained untouched. Strange, Kurt had thought. Blaine couldn't go an hour without checking his news feed. His last status update had been Thursday afternoon, Going over to Kurt's!

By Monday morning, his anger had faded and the hurt began to set in. What if they had broken up for good? Kurt loved Blaine. Immature as he might be at times, he was the best thing that had happened to him. The thought of never talking to Blaine again, it caused his heart to drop. It felt as if he had been run over and then fed to a mountain lion. Even breathing hurt and he couldn't stop from tearing up during his classes.

Blaine wasn't at school today. He wasn't even late, like on Friday. He just wasn't here. It wasn't until halfway though Glee Club that his absence was even acknowledged by anyone but Kurt.

"Wait, where's Blaine?" Mr. Shue asked, thirty minutes into practice.

Really? Kurt thought. If they hadn't been about to practice their Regionals number, a number that featured Finn and Blaine heavily, would he have even noticed? Would anyone have?

"He couldn't come," Mike said. "He had to go to court for a custody hearing."

Mr. Shue looked confused for a few minutes. This was probably the first time he's hearing of the Anderson's divorce. Why would he have, it's not like he paid attention to any of their personal lives anymore. Not even Finn or Rachel's. He'd been so focused on Ms. Pillsbury and winning Nationals that he hadn't even tried to stop the girls from leaving for the Troubletones. Hadn't even stopped to ask any of them how things were going for them.

Kurt sighed, before Mike's words began to sink in. Blaine hadn't skipped school to avoid him. He was dealing with family stuff. He had been in court all day and probably stressed as all hell.

His words were still ringing in his ears after Glee Club let out an hour and a half later. It didn't matter that they were fighting and broken up, or whatever it was that was going on between them. The Anderson's didn't have another court date until next month. What on Earth had cause it to be pushed up? No, it didn't matter what was going on with them, Blaine—his best friend, Blaine—needed him right now. He wasn't just going to ignore that. First and foremost, they would always be friends.

Kurt had gotten on the interstate and had begun making his way to Blaine's house without even realizing it. When he finally showed up at his door, forty minutes later, Mr. Anderson greeted him with a look of contempt.

Kurt tried his best to ignore it, but it was surprising. Mr. Anderson had never been a fan of him, but he'd never been so openly hostile before.

"Is Blaine here?" he asked, trying to ignore the way his stomach was knotting.

"Blaine's grounded," Mr. Anderson said. "You should go."

"Oh, um, okay," he stumbled over his words. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

Kurt knew he should just turn around and go home. There was clearly something going on with their family right now and he didn't need to be involved with it. Not if the way he was getting glared at was any indication. But his legs weren't moving. Kurt couldn't leave, at least not before he knew Blaine was alright. Because, grounded? Really? When had Blaine ever so much as blinked wrong in front of his father? He was like one of those stepford children from the fifties when he was around Mr. Anderson.

"It's just that I haven't heard from him all weekend and I want to make sure that he's alright. Five minutes, it's all I need. I swear I won't do anything. I just want to make sure he's alright," Kurt rambled nervously.

"Because he wouldn't be alright in his own home?" Mr. Anderson glowered at him dangerously.

"Just let him in, Dad," a boy, very similar to Blaine came up behind Mr. Anderson. He had the same curly brown hair, only it was left shaggy. He was more built than Blaine, taller, too. But there was no denying that this was Blaine's brother, Conner. Kurt had never met him before, but he'd seen pictures. Conner was a basketball player at Ohio State. What was he doing home? Spring break couldn't be for another week or two.

"I'm not letting this boy in my house," Mr. Anderson looked at his son like he was crazy. "He's the reason Blaine is acting like this."

Oh God, so Blaine was acting out because of him. He told his family about their breakup. How mortifying that Mr. Anderson, the man who hated him enough already, now knew how horrible he'd been to Blaine on Thursday.

"We're the reason Blaine is acting like this," he said, putting a calming hand on his dad's shoulder. "Let the boy in, it's cold outside and Blaine could use somebody to talk to."

Okay, he thought. So maybe this wasn't really about him.

"He can talk to us," Mr. Anderson grumbled.

"He's not going to talk to any of us," Conner said. "Especially not now. What can it hurt?"

Mr. Anderson was silent for a long moment before waving him in angrily. He stormed off, but Conner stayed around giving him a friendly smile. So maybe Conner wasn't as horrible as Blaine had made him sound.

"He wonders where Blaine get's his temper from," he said with a small smile. "I'm Conner, Blaine's older brother."

"I know," Kurt said, tentatively taking the hand that was offered to him and shaking it.

"Oh good, so I'm sure you've already heard the horror stories about me. You probably want to kill me," he said.

"I really just want to talk to Blaine," Kurt said. He didn't really feel like sitting here and making chit chat with any of the Anderson's. Sure, Conner seemed nice enough, but he still remembered the stories of Conner standing by as Blaine was harassed in school.

"He's upstairs in his room," he said. Kurt nodded and sat down on the top step to undo the laces of his boots. There was a firm no shoes rule in this house that Kurt respected.

"He's gonna say he's fine, but he drove to Detroit Thursday night," Conner explained. "Dad wanted to call the cops, but I guess Claire calmed him down. He called his lawyer though. There was an emergency hearing this morning."

Kurt nodded again, listening but not really hearing. He wanted to hear the story from Blaine, not some brother he'd never met before. Once his coat was properly hung in the closet and his boots were lined up by the door, he headed upstairs, taking the stairs two at a time.

When Kurt reached the top of the stairs, he was surprised to see Blaine's door open. Or actually, upon closer inspection, the door was completely missing. He walked closer and saw Blaine laying in bed, his back to the door, reading a book. Had his door really been taken away for wanting to see his mother? That seemed a little extreme.

"I haven't jumped out the window, I'm not hungry and there's no way in hell I'm watching the game with you," Blaine said without turning around. Kurt was taken back at the bitter tone in his voice. He had to take a moment to remember that Blaine probably didn't know he was here. He most likely assumed that he was his father or brother. That tone wasn't intended for him.

At least, he hoped it wasn't. Blaine certainly had reason enough to be pissed at him, too.

"I never thought the day would come you weren't hungry," he said, leaning against the doorless frame.

Blaine rolled over and looked at him surprised to see him.

"Your dad let me in," Kurt said.

Blaine raised his eyebrows, doubtfully.

"Well your dad tried to get me to leave, but then Conner convinced him to let me in," he said.

"So what's going on?" he asked when Blaine remained silent.

"You broke up with me," Blaine said, looking at Kurt confused. The normal, trusting eyes were gone.

"Oh Blaine," Kurt said, coming over and sitting down on his bed. "You have to know that I love you more than anything and didn't mean those things I said. I was horrible and mean and you deserve better from me. I have a good hour long apology and you deserve to hear every minute of it, but I'm not here to apologize."

Blaine's eyes began to water up, and Kurt realized how that had come across.

"What I meant was, I'm not going to apologize right now," Kurt said, rephrasing his words. "I'm here because you need me and that's all that matters."

"What I need," Blaine said with a bitter laugh, sitting up and putting his book on his nightstand. "Since when does that matter?"

"Hey," Kurt said, putting his hand on Blaine's cheek and forcing him to look him in the eyes. "What you need matters. You matter. Always."

"I drove to Detroit," Blaine says, his voice thick with the effort of holding back tears. He's heard this tone before, too many times. Kurt wishes he could meet every person who had ever made Blaine believe he wasn't worthy of love, believe he wasn't good enough. He would give them a piece of his mind.

"You went to see your mom," Kurt said, knowingly. The only person he ever wanted to talk to when he was upset. Of course that had been where he was Friday morning. That was why he hadn't shown up at school until after lunch.

"Dad freaked out when I got home from school. He started yelling at me. I yelled back, told him that I hated living with him. I told him that I wanted to move to Detroit," he said, playing with a frayed edge on his t-shirt. Kurt smacked his hand away.

"It's going to unravel," he said, gently. "I'll sew it later."

"He told me that the court had decided I would be staying with him and that's that. If I went back on a day that wasn't her's, he'd call the cops. I told him I would just move in with you then," he said. "He really didn't like that."

"He's not my biggest fan," Kurt said, starting to understand Mr. Anderson's increased dislike of him now.

"He's just upset that I prefer you over him. He's angry that I want to be with her. He blames her for the divorce," he said, laying his head on Kurt's shoulder.

"Funny, you think he'd blame the secretary he slept with."

"My parent's haven't been right since I came out," Blaine said. "It's my fault they got divorced."

"Every kid thinks that, Blaine," Kurt said. "It's not true."

"Except this time it is," he said. "Not entirely, I know. They are adults and can make their own decisions. And if they really had loved each other enough they would have made it work. Dad wouldn't have cheated on my mom. But they haven't been right, not since I came out."

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, tentatively.

Blaine had never gone into deep about his parents. Kurt had heard all about the bullying. Heard about how his brother had stood by when Blaine was being pushed around in school. Heard how his dad and brother had told him to be a man and deal with it. Knew that his mother had been the one to bring up Dalton, she'd been the one to offer him a way out. But they'd never talked about his parents fighting. Never talked about the reasons behind the divorce. And Kurt has always accepted that. Accepted that Blaine would tell him when he was ready, just as he had everything else.

"The first time I remember hearing them fight was the night that I came out to them," Blaine said. "I came home with a black eye and mom just kept pushing me, asking why they were doing it. I told her and we told my dad later that night. He didn't take it well. He kept asking me why. Like I was doing this just to annoy him. After I went to bed, I heard them fighting about it. About me."

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sure they had other problems, before that."

"Oh, I know that they did. But they made it work before. After I came out, they just stopped trying. They were constantly fighting over how to parent me. They got in fights about Conner, too. Mom would punish Conner for being too rough with me, but then Dad would come home and tell him it was fine. That I just needed to learn how to take a joke. I guess he started cheating on my mom when I was in the hospital after Sadie Hawkins. I'm not sure, they don't tell us everything. But I'm pretty sure that's when it started."

"That's horrible," Kurt said.

"My dad loves me," Blaine said. "He has to, I'm his kid. But he just doesn't understand. None of them do. They don't even try."

"I understand. Your mom understands. Everyone else, they'll come around. And hell, even if they don't, you're not alone. You're never alone," Kurt said, trying to put all of his emotions into what he was saying. He needed Blaine to know that no matter what, he would be here.

"I don't want to be broken up," Blaine said, sniffling.

"Like I would ever actually break up with you," Kurt says, pulling him in closer. "You go with everything I wear."

Blaine laughed, the first real one he'd heard all day.

"So that's all I am to you, just a pretty accessory," Blaine said, teasing him.

"I don't know where the just is in this, I abide by the Coco Chanel school of thought. Less is more. You should feel very important that I chose you each and every day."

"Oh I do," Blaine said, looking at him with that too serious, too intense look that he gets sometimes. "I really do."

"You shouldn't forgive me that easily," Kurt said, his heart already sinking at how easily Blaine seemed to forget Thursday night. "I said some horrible things to you. Things you don't deserve."

"And you realize that I don't deserve it and apologized for it, that's all that matters," he said.

"You're allowed to get mad at people, Blaine," Kurt said. "You don't have to work so hard all the time to make things work. You can be mad at me, I promise it won't make me love you any less."

"I do get mad at people," Blaine said. "The ones who deserve it. The one's who say mean things and actually mean it. My dad, those bullies from my old school, my brother, I get mad all the time, Kurt."

"I just hate seeing you get treated like that. Finn, Santana, me? You shouldn't have to listen to people say mean things to you just because you want your friendships to work."

"What's the point?" he asked.

Kurt was about to go on a very long rant about exactly what the point was, when Blaine put a hand to his mouth.

"I just mean, I know why you did it. I know why Finn and Santana say those things. Finn doesn't have college plans, he's lost. Glee is all he has left that he's good at and he thinks I'm better. He shouldn't put me down in front of everyone because never once have I actually taken a solo from him. But if I fought back, he would realize it was wrong and feel guilty and in turn only worse about himself. He'll figure his life out eventually and stop being so mean. Same with Santana. Until then, I'm not going to be one more person in their life that makes them feel like a bad person."

Kurt thought about that for a long time, seeing Blaine's point. He still didn't entirely agree. Still knew, if he was in Blaine's shoes, he wouldn't stand for it. But that was what made Blaine such a great person. He was an adult about things. And did it suck that his coming out had gone so disastrously wrong that he'd been forced to grow up this fast? Yes, but he was still an amazing guy.

"I'm so lucky to have you," Kurt said. "Every day."

"I'm the lucky one," Blaine said, sitting up and taking Kurt into his arms instead.

They sat there for a few moments, hugging each other close. He wanted to argue with him. Tell him that Blaine had done so much more for him than he could ever explain. But he knew what Blaine would say. What he always said. Kurt had waited for him while was still too confused about his feelings to actually be with him. He had brought him ice cream, even though he hated how fattening it was, every day last summer after his Six Flags performance. He had brought him flowers after his Tony audition, even when he'd been upset about not getting the role.

What were those things in face of what Blaine had done for him?

Nothing. But maybe that's what love was. Doing things for one another without a second thought. Never complaining about how much you do. Only ever trying to do enough to show how much you care. But was there ever enough that you could do that would show that? Maybe not, maybe that's why you kept trying every day. It wasn't about keeping score. And, thank god, it wasn't about keeping tallies of all the bad things you had done either.

"Maybe we're both lucky," Kurt whispered into Blaine's ear.


End file.
